A Toast, to the Friendships that See Us Through

A Toast, to the Friendships that See Us Through

            I was browsing Facebook looking for something interesting when I happened to view this two-year-old birthday message to my friend.

            Here it goes:

            I always long for a friend. I am always searching for my best friend, that I can talk with till dawn, that I can share my plans and ambitions in life with…but I haven't found her yet. Or maybe I have. I just didn't think that she was it.

            I was already in my junior year in high school when I really got to know her. Back then, I thought she was just another snobbish, brainy, rich girl from the city, who wouldn't want anything to do with me if given the chance. She did seem haughty and high and mighty and I also thought she had a right to be so, being the best of their batch. But to my surprise, we instantly clicked.

            I got teamed up with three senior students from our school for an upcoming interschool contest on general information, and she was included in the team. I must have felt awful then, when I knew that I was the only junior student there. But they didn't let me feel that way for long. The afternoon that we were told to gather newspapers for the past month and read them, they reached out to me, and I felt better. Even at that time, she was already special.
Walking with my teammates to our coach's house with our arms loaded with newspapers, she talked to me, and it was no ordinary conversation. I really thought she was very assertive, asking me right then and there about my almost non-existent love life. What a way to start a friendship!
            To my amazement, I replied, and I didn't even think that she was invading my personal space, in just a matter of minutes. I found myself telling her even more than she asked for, the things she would have asked further, but was hesitant to do so. And I felt comfortable. I guess real friendship starts there, when you must have blurted out everything you never wanted anyone to know, and yet you still feel comfortable.

            And so, several months later, we were good friends. We had already shared a few snacks, about 2 championships, and countless hours on the phone, and by then, there was little that we didn't know of each other's lives. I felt less lonely. Suddenly, there was this girl (who was also small like me) who understood what I felt, who took pains to make me feel better, and most important of all, who was with me when I needed her. She was like the big sister I never had, and we would exchange messages on the phone late into the night, we would talk about anything we wanted to talk about; we would get in touch however busy our schedules might be. I was growing up, and I had the perfect guide to see me through.

            I was in third year then, the busiest year so far, and the year I went from being a child to a teenager. I had so many distractions, I had my Geometry, Statistics, Chemistry and Trigonometry all in one year, my now-starting-to-rage hormones I had to restrain; I had also joined the Cadet Officers Training Corps where she was the adjutant. And above all that, I had a friendship to keep. I could keep up with my Math, I could repress whatever hormones I had to, but the idea of being an applicant to cadet posts one of them she incidentally held and being friends at the same time, was something I couldn't cope with. I wasn't able to adjust very well, and our friendship somewhat declined. There was even a point when I had almost given up, and that was no fault of hers. Maybe, I thought, this was one of the friendships that, like summer romances, are gone in a flash, and are only meant to be remembered for what they once meant. Then the training ended, and our friendship went on, although it was a teeny bit different this time.

            I was already in my final year in high school, and she was starting in college. Along with the pressure of academic studies was the conscious effort to keep in touch, and it was no small feat. Being school mates and friends with different schedules was hard, but being friends in spite of the hundreds, or maybe thousands of nautical miles separating you was harder, especially that she was now in college, and I'm still in high school. We were both adjusting, and it was difficult. There was almost no one I could share my life with, turn to for comfort, except a small notebook I call a diary who couldn't even talk to me. My big sister was now a grownup; she was now moving on to greater heights, exploring unchartered territories -- and the little sister is somewhat left behind. We were both busy with our lives and we had to move on. We had to grow up for we couldn't do otherwise. 

            But the rare moments we could chat and keep up were really precious ones. When I was growing up and slowly making the transition from childhood to adolescence, she was like the lodestar, the guiding principle and philosophy of my life, and the model I wished I would be like when I grow up too. She was like the big sister who was also your best friend when you were growing up, the way she would tell you that you put a little bit too much powder on your face, the way she would giggle and share your butterflies in the stomach whenever your crush gets near, and the hours you spent late into the night talking and laughing and giggling for no reason at all.

            And among the many distractions of growing up, I realized true friendship is the greatest gift of all. In a period where you have all the time in the world and things seem to be clamoring for your attention all at once, real friendship is like an avenue of hope, a stronghold of faith, a bastion of your ideals to uplift you when you’re let down. In a world where fake friends parade around you and real ones go unrecognized, genuine friendship brings real comfort and assurance. While your erstwhile crush may not appear to notice you, they do, and the world will still keep on turning. Because they're the first persons you turn to, when it seems like everything goes wrong. Friends are the ones you remember when you wake up in the middle of the night and you need someone to talk to, someone to let you know that even though you are sitting on your bed and missing a few important persons several miles away from you, you are not alone -- and you will be just fine. And even if they get annoying and disturbingly honest at times, you know you can trust them to be frank with you, to tell you the things you ought to know.

            They can't fix your life, they can't solve all your problems, they can't stop every tear from falling, but when they're there, you feel normal, you feel okay. You laugh, you cry, you experience being overjoyed and super upset as well -- things that make life so exciting, and thrilling, and worth living. With them, you're just you, and that's all right.
I'm sixteen now, three years and several ideas and experiences ahead of the thirteen year old that I was when our friendship started, and in some ways I have grown up. Our friendship is now reduced to just a snack shared every semester, if we can, and a few messages on the phone every now and then, but it doesn't matter. In any case, friends don't have to prove anything to anybody, much less to each other. We will still be friends, despite the distance, no matter what happens. And after all…

            I always believe in the magic of friendship.

            Funny how, two years later, the last statement still rings true. So let’s toast, my friend, to the friendships that see us through!